Discipling Lessons for the Family

Session Inspirations

2010-12-11T11:14:00.006+08:00

A profile of what goes on during a typical session from 8.30am to 6.00pm. My mind and heart has been stretched by the Holy Spirit and my paradigm and thinking is now being "thrown about"!

Mr.Dhanan of Sri Lanka - a man who really walks the talk. I am amazed at how he is a steward of the multiple resources he is entrusted with. Plus I am inspired by his laser-sharp ministry focus.

Susanta Patra - the Secretary General of India Missions Associations. A visionary and yet down-to-earth man of God. His famous line to me is - "So, Joseph - how is Mary?" He inspired me to include a "last chapter" of personal testimony in my book.

This is Sam Rufus - the faculty for Communications and Writing who inspired me towards writing a book. I have now made it a firm goal to have a book written next year. Amen.

The Down and Up of Hana

2010-12-10T16:03:00.020+08:00

Here are the two rented min-vans (each can seat 15) ready to roar! Will be driving along the Hana Highway with stops at beaches and waterfalls.

This is Ho'okipa Beach Park - Maui's popular windsurfing and surfing beach.

Our first waterfall stop - The Twin Falls.

We had to trek in quite a long way before reaching the twin falls. Waters quite deep so only take photo without getting ourselves wet.

When we stopped by the roadside to attend to those who were car-sick, our battery ran flat! That certainly got us kicking into high-gear and we stopped almost every car that passed us by asking for a jumper cable! We waited for almost an hour before locating a kind Samaritan (he mentioned that we were the 4th vehicle that he had helped that day!).

Oh the the joy of receiving more power!

With my room-mate Maged at the Seven Falls. The rushing waterfalls was so strong that it creates a permeating mist all around.

Part of the coastal drive journey. Instead of taking the easier road home - we decided to persevere on and go for the windy route back to the Institute. But the sights were well worth it!

Praise God for this fantastic stop-over spot! We arrived here minutes before the sun-set and we were treated to a wonderful blend of green pastures, majestic mountains and heavenly clouds. Am I glad we did not turn back after the vehicle breakdown but decided to press on!

What a glorious view (and conclusion) to our Hana adventure! The coastal sights were well worth the windy pathway and not to mention, the vehicle breakdown. God is good ... all the time.

Regional Presentations

2010-12-10T15:50:00.007+08:00

This is the regional presentation team of South/Central America consisting of Peru, Argentina, Mexico, Columbia, Guatemala, Brazil and the island of Trinidad.

This is the team for the regional presentation of India, Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan.

The countries which represented my regional group presentation - South Korea, Malaysia, Papua New Guinea and Bahrain (not pictured).

Presenting my own nation of Malaysia through interviewing Yew Soon.

Interviewing to better understand the spiritual conditions of South Korea.

My First Earthquake Experience!

2010-11-24T16:25:00.004+08:00

At about 6.40pm today, there was a tremor in Maui and we all feel the shaking at the Institute which lasted a few seconds! The whole building literally shook (a slight one) - but enough to capture our attention! At that time we were having our small group prayer and reflection. So, we thought that our prayers must have been really powerful! Thank God that all is normal and the shaking was just a very slight one (but enough to jolt me and captured my attention). For more information, go to : http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/11/24/47-magnitude-earthquake-hits-Maui/UPI-33251290583996/

Weekend & Weekstart

2010-11-23T14:31:00.013+08:00

On Saturday, the sessions end at 5.00pm, so we had time to take a walk down to the nearby beach here in Kihei. Managed to catch the beautiful sun-set. Plan to catch the sun-rise in another place (up a volcanic mountain) in 2 weeks time - that would be an adventure! It was a good to catch the beach breeze at the conclusion of our first week of training here at the Institute (and 3 more weeks to go!).

On Sunday, a few of us went to Kihei Baptist Church where we attended both the adult Sunday School and the Sunday Service. The one thing that impressed me was the session of spontaneous testimonies - that drives home the authenticity of faith in Christ.

Seated with my two brothers from South Africa - Cecil & Kovilan (who is a faculty).

A glorious lunch (with turkey and ham!) was served after Service. I guess with Thanksgiving (Nov 25) around the corner, the lunch spread was a signal of many more goodies to come! This is Mitra from Nepal who pastors a family-based church. He really has a heart to strengthen families.

This is my rental bike (....only kidding). It is a Honda - missed the driver. My other friend from Bangladesh managed to hitch a ride back to the Institute on this bike!

Today, Monday 22 Nov is the start of an intensive week ahead (7am to 7pm). What was remarkable about today was that we kick-started with a live Skype conference with the founder himself! That's me seated in front on the far right.

Here's the founder - 86 years strong! And it is amazing how the Lord used him and I am even more humbled by the fact that he took time to answer the question I asked. It came to me as such a strong, personal Rhema word from the Lord. Just the catalyst I need for this coming week. Amen!

Serious Work from Now On.....

2010-11-19T16:01:00.007+08:00

From today onwards, the group of us will be meeting for "Poolside Prayer" at 6.45am. It was a unique experience of hearing prayers being vocalized in Korean, Spanish, French, etc. Sounded very pentecostal but the languages were spoken with understanding!

This is my seating position in the classroom - the place is arranged like a Parliment House with microphone and comfortable seats! Today is the first day of a full schedule from 7.45am to 7.00pm. There are many more of such days to come - so, my update on the blog is going to be less frequent. Please pray that the Lord will expand my vision of what He can do. Mingling with people from 25 different nationalities here have increased my faith in a BIG God. The concept of global evangelism is gradually sinking in .....

This is my "prayer & reflection" team representing Brazil, India, Egypt, Philippines and Namibia. We meet together at 6.00pm to reflect on insights gain on the lesson for the day and also pray for one another. We all combined faith today to pray for Eliza and Eunice to fully recover from the sickness and also protection for Wai Bing. Amen. Praise God for holy unity within cultural diversity.

Formal Launch of the Class Sessions

2010-11-17T16:55:00.013+08:00

I am amazed that the two Advanced Leadership sessions here in Maui is the 883rd and the 884th time since it first started! These are the final two sessions for this year before a new series of classes start again next year. We were seated with volunteers and also ministry supporters - am impressed with their spirit of servanthood and generosity in wanting to equip Christian leaders worldwide to be put first priority on the last command of Christ. We had a kick-off lunch with all attired either in business formal or their national dress.

This is part of the "Malaysia Boleh!" contingent. Two are not pictured here. We are the second largest contingent (6 persons) after India (which had 7 persons). Pictured here (from left to right) - Raj (Consultant), Alvin Lim (Malaysian Care) and James Nayagam (Human Rights Commissioner).

This is Rudy from the Philipines Air Force Chaplin. A mighty spiritual warrior who has been through the scars of real-life battle on the field!

Thomas from Papua New Guinea.

A-ha - This is Maged - my room mate from Egypt. A dynamic pastor who is also the Assistant Director of a Bible College. Admire his boldness in being a witness despite the persecutions.

This is Diego (not Diego Maradona!) from Argentina.

Kulasekaran and Dr.Raju from India.

John Komuo (Nagaland - a state of India) and Eric from Pakistan.

Day of Warmth, Walks & Water

2010-11-16T12:35:00.011+08:00

Woke up at 5.00am today so that I can jog for 30 mins. This was the scene which greeted me at my room's balcony as I took time to meditate on the first three verses of Matthew 5. My devotional project during the time here in the institute is to memorize Matthew chapter 5 (together with my family).

After breakfast and a morning briefing, a group of us walked around the neighborhood checking out the stores, a public beach and also planning for upcoming sight seeing trips. Am thankful that we have capable leaders in our group who knows what to do! Checked out a rental company - we are considering hiring a 15-seater passenger van! Standing next to me above is Kim - a Pastor from South Korea.

Together with Irwin (Malaysia) and Deigo (Argentina), we will form the first team that will be leading the worship session tomorrow morning. It's great to be worshiping with believers from different nations. A foretaste of heaven!

We had the first official function today i.e. the "Welcome Games". I was selected to be the leader of the "Golden Conquerors" team. Tough job to lead a team of leaders because everyone is so capable! I feel more like a follower than a leader.

Getting the most water around tough obstacles....

Too bad, we had much shorter ropes compared to the next team! We lost this one. The ropes were given "lucky draw" style. Still, we had fun!

The guy in the Brazilian shirt is REALLY a Brazilian! Can't say the same for Mgullu who is wearing the Manchester United shirt (He is from Tanzania!). Well, guys bond well through activities, that I can say.....

Outing for Shopping

2010-11-15T15:52:00.007+08:00

Taking a break after close to 2 hours in Walmart (from left to right) - Prince (Philipines), Dexter (Trinidad) and Mgulu (Tanzania). It was kind of interesting to be shopping together as a group of guys and then comparing best buys! (p/s : something later I ended up returning most of the products because I found cheaper products elsewhere - the great thing about customer service here in US is that they do not make a big fuss over product returns!).

A unique feature that reflects the outdoor culture here in Maui. The public bus has extensions upfront that allow for cyclist to enjoy the bus rides as well! Sure would come in handy for exhausted cyclists!

Sunday Service at Hope Chapel

2010-11-15T06:51:00.009+08:00

And the saints go marching on ... a 15 minute walk to Hope Chapel for Sunday Service.

Time for shaking hands and exchanging "Aloha" greetings at Hope Chapel.

The Leadership Institute Tour

2010-11-14T16:38:00.008+08:00

The classroom for the normal sessions.

The main lecture auditorium.

The Prayer Room.

Part of the recreational facilities. Place to unwind after a heavy-duty day of lectures.

Serious looking exercise machine! Receive warning that it is easy to put on weight with the many meals here!

The laundry & dryer room. Also facilities available for ironing as well.

Arrival in Maui ... Finally.

2010-11-14T12:32:00.016+08:00

Me and my usual Latte at the Honolulu Airport - awaiting the flight to Maui.

So, we are now finally in Maui..... The baggage collection and the shuttle ride all went very smoothly and we arrived in Kihei at about 5pm. Jimmi, our RC (Resident Coordinator) will be our father/mother for the next 25 days - the advice given is simple : DO NOT SLEEP .. wait till the night hours before you hit the sack else the jet lag effect will linger on! There is a cable internet connection in the bedroom ... so this will make the Skype calls home much easier. Wonder what's for dinner tonight?

This is Gary - a retired school principal who is a volunteer. I am so encouraged to see a team of dedicated volunteers greeting us at the entrance and the team could just sense their spirit of servanthood immediately! After showing me around the facilities in the room, he concluded by saying a special prayer for me - talk about first-class service! Am staying in Room 236 - had a really good shower just now and will be going for dinner in about 15 minutes time. My room-mate has not arrived yet ... hmm, I wonder who is the Holy Spirit sending to be with me for the next 25 days?

Faces Along the Way ...

2010-11-14T12:01:00.015+08:00

This is Irwin from Kuching, Sarawak. The latest Malaysian member to join the group. He was also on MH704 with us but he was not affected by the "transit trial" because he checked out directly from the immigration. So, all in all, including myself, there are four Malaysians for this upcoming leadership training (so far....). Photo above taken at Honolulu Airport, awaiting to board an inter-island flight to Maui.

This is Carlos Marquez - a US citizen (emigrated from Venezuela) who was with me on Hawaiian Airlines HA456 from Manila to Honolulu. We had a great time conversing about relationships, life goals, marriage and parenting. Although he is a single, I am impressed with his desire of wanting to make life count. Carlos was amazingly impressed with the life principles from the Rebuilders Guide (pictured above) that he browsed through it himself! I also drew for him a chart on how one can discover their life purpose and calling - he actually asked to keep the scribbling which I did because to him, that chart brought great clarity to his thinking! Before landing, I shared the Gospel with him using Bill Gothard's "spirit-soul-body" illustration and it made a lot of sense to him. Praise God for this wonderful opportunity to transmit His Living Word.

This is Ronaldo who was my companion on flight MH704 from KL to Manila. Interestingly enough, the day of the flight (Nov 13) was his 30th birthday! So, I gave him my Ferrero Rocher chocolate (part of the MH snack) as a way to celebrate this occasion. Although a Filipino, Ronaldo works in PJ as a programmer with Standard Chartered. He was on his way back to Manila to rendezvous with his mother (whom he has not met for more than a year) for a holiday trip to the US. We had a great time talking about parenting (he plans to get married by 35), life goals and other family matters.

Mr & Mrs Vincent from the Republic of Vanuatu - a island in the Pacific with a total population of only 234,023. Mr.Vincent is a high-ranking judge of Vanuatu and I met him while waiting for the "transit trial" to be sorted out at the Manila transfer desk yesterday.

Finally...Transit Problem Solved (and Fellowship Made)!

2010-11-13T18:27:00.005+08:00

Mr.Lim and Mr.Wong from Malaysia.

Mr.Jewel from Bangladesh.

Sorting out the transit issue with the authorities.

Whew! We were stuck at the Transfer Desk for two hours and we were almost "forced" to check out of the airport in order to re-enter again due to communication problems between the MH and Hawaiian Airlines staff. Thank God for a Mr.Castillo of the Immigration who took a firm hand of the matter and guided us through the right process. Right now is 6.30pm - with just 30 mins left to boarding - so, this is a "rescue" just in the nick of time. Silver lining - met up with two other Malaysians and another person from Bangladesh who is also joining this leadership training in Hawaii! We now know the meaning of the word "fellowship of suffering" .... Next stop ... Honolulu, Hawaii....

Now at KLIA .. One Year Later!

2010-11-13T09:45:00.005+08:00

The last time I updated the blog was about one year ago - on the way to the US (North Carolina) with my wife for a training/coaching session with John Rosemond in North Carolina. So, here I am again headed to the US (Hawaii) - but this time on my own - for a month long special leadership training. Yet, I sense that there is one thing in common between these two trips - God's will and direction for us as a family. The words of Joshua ...."choose for yourselves today whom you will serve....but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15). Before this venture of service, there is Joshua 1:8 ....."you shall meditate on it (this book of the law) day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it..." I view today to be the first day of my meditation upon God's Word that I may acquire God's Wisdom in order to experience God's Way of authentic success. Before serving Him, there is the seeking of Him.

Day 12 : Thanksgiving and Homecoming!

2009-11-28T05:35:00.004+08:00

Nov 26 - Yes, this is our final day in the US. It is appropriate that today is Thanksgiving Day - we are grateful to the Lord for this trip for several reasons :

A refreshing time away with Wai Bing. Being away from the daily routine gave us focused moments for meaningful conversation and prayer.
The Leadership Parenting Coaching training with John Rosemond gave us a vision of how fundamental the family life is to true success. If there is one thing which I cannot fail in - it is my family (all other successes are shallow in comparison).
The wonderful and welcoming hospitality from Chee Sun & Beatrix! We truly feel the warmth of not only their fellowship but that of their friends at C3 Church in Greensboro. It is truly amazing how the Lord has used their leadership to transmit The Marriage Course to so many couples here in C3 and we pray that this is only the beginning of many more good tidings to come!

As I'm typing this, we are at Changi Airport - waiting for our final connecting flight back to KL. We miss our girls, the food and the fellowship back home. Thank you, Lord!

Day 11 : Day Away at Greensboro

2009-11-28T05:16:00.006+08:00

Nov 24 - Our final day of relaxation in North Carolina. So, what do we do? We had fun shopping for shoes (really good deals from DSW) - just what I needed to replace my "koyak" ones at home. Furthermore, it is the eve of Thanksgiving, so with "Black Friday" looming, people are in a shopping mood. If you think that we Asians are KS, think again - Americans queue up as early as 4am on Black Friday to get the best deals in town - stampeding (literally) each other to get their hands on heavily marked down items! On another note, we are so thankful that our shipment from Sonlight Curriculum arrived just in time at 4pm today (or else it will miss our flight tomorrow!). We are bringing home 100+ books for our own use and also on behalf of others in Malaysia. It is so easy to purchase online stuff here in the US.

Spend the afternoon part of the day at the Greensboro Historical Museum. Did you know that Vicks (yes, the vaporub and inhaler) originated from this area? So much of the traditions of the past is worth learning from - especially when it comes to parenting and education.

Day 10 : Traditions & Thanksgiving

2009-11-28T04:54:00.001+08:00

Nov 24 - We spent the day right at home - Chee Sun & Beatrix's home, that is. We truly enjoy the comforts of their home and the generous hospitality. Still, our cravings for home took the better of us ... that's when we pulled out our emergency "ration" of ... tom yam instant instant noodles! Now, I know why there is a China town in almost every major city in the world. So much of our culture is tied with our cuisine.

Pictured above is Rev Tan (Beatrix's Dad) - he has been such a tremendous testimony of faithful support for the wife who is currently in hospital. Every time I converse with him, he is overflowing with gratefulness to the Lord for the miracle of everyday living - persevering in faith that all things work for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (Roms 8:28-29). Praise God that Mrs.Tan is expected to be discharged sometime middle of next week. This is indeed a season of Thanksgiving.

Day 9 : To Shop & To Savor!

2009-11-25T03:44:00.004+08:00

Nov 23 - Aah, we now get the time to do what tourist would do - to shop till we are hungry enough to drop & devour! In this case, the place we shop in was Walmart - boy, this to me is the best place under one roof for Asian bargain hunters! My two daughters would have loved to venture along the "arts & craft" aisle at Walmart - after we were done (with a lighter wallet, I might add), six hours had already gone by ... isn't love a wonderful thing? No wonder, 7 years were like 7 days to Jacob when he was in love with Rachel.

When evening came, we were drawn to the neon lights of Krispy Kreme - signalling that the hot-melt-in-your-mouth doughnuts are now ready for consumption! Once again, we have our fellow Malaysians - Chee Sun & Beatrix to thank for using their noses in getting us the best dough in town. And yes, they do really melt in the mouth. Amazing stuff. This would be heaven for little Eunice...

Day 8 : A Refreshing Sabbath

2009-11-25T00:13:00.009+08:00

Nov 22 - This signals a change in our trip schedule as we embark on the more "personal" portion. It is truly a divine appointment as Chee Sun and Beatrix lives just about 90 minutes away from where we attended the Leadership Parenting Coach training in Gastonia. We attended the Christian City Church (C3) in Greensboro and were truly overwhelmed with the fellowship and warmth shown - the caramel and hazelnut latte certainly helped! In addition, an angel called Nana Cashman (92 years young) came and showered us with such a warm and glorious hug that we cannot but feel so very welcomed! Such is the bond we have in Jesus Christ - no matter where we are, it is the Lord that binds our hearts together in joyous fellowship.

The fellowship continued on in a Mexican restaurant with Chee Sun, Beatrix, Scott and Lori - wonderful stuff - it was a real treat as we were starting to show the symptoms of "where-can-we-find-spicy-Malaysian-food" syndrome! Thank God for providing the cure just in time. We had a double treat when Beatrix whipped up an Asian dinner for us and it truly is wonderful to be tasting rice again! Speaking about treats, we were privileged to be guests at a 4-hour parenting seminar by John Rosemond (who else?) at the Jamestown United Methodist Church - great to be hearing the leadership parenting message all over again. One time is for sure, we can never get enough of the principles that are based on the timeless principles of the Word of God. Scripture is alive and is sharper than a double-edged sword (Heb 4:12). Amen.

Day 7 : Leadership Parent Coaching 3

2009-11-24T07:15:00.005+08:00

Nov 21 - This the final day of the Leadership Parenting Coach training. Although most of what John shared can be found in his books - it has a more "convicting" effect when it comes straight from the horse's mouth! Furthermore, the interaction with like-hearted folks (like Liz, who is already a grandmother!) just warms our heart and gives us the added impetus to carry on the Leadership Parenting vision when we return. The past 3 days of training was not a matter of methodologies as it was about the way parents ought to think. Right thinking leads to right behavior.

Day 6 : Leadership Parent Coaching 2

2009-11-21T09:39:00.002+08:00

As you can see, most of the Parent Coaching attendees are women! Now, what does that tell you about the general state of parenting - it is the wife/mother who wants to change things at home. My prayer is that they do not do it alone. I am so privileged to be able to come here with Wai Bing and I just so appreciate her presence and commitment to parent as one flesh. 50% of issues related to parenting would be resolved if the couple starts off from the position of a strong marriage. Without marriage as the center of the family, parenting becomes tough and divisive. Without Christ as the center of the marriage, the marriage itself becomes rough and antagonistic.

Day 5 : Leadership Parent Coaching 1

2009-11-21T05:57:00.005+08:00

Nov 19 : This is Day-1 of the Leadership Parent Coaching Session. After 3 months of planning, we are all eager to start! The small number of participants allowed for ease of conversation and it was refreshing to interact with like-minded parents who are not afraid to go against the "postmodern parenting psychology" of our day which creates child-centered families and micro-managing parents. In this age, the need to equip parents to think right is so critical in a world which constantly bombards us with humanistic and ridiculous philosophies. John Rosemond's call is a call back to tradition, back to the time when parenting was just something you do (with your heart), not something you analyze or philosophize about (with your mind).

Had dinner at the Lotus with Liz - fantastic salad, shrimp & crab cakes! About Liz - although a grandmother, she still has the passion to be a leadership parenting coach. Now, that's inspiring!

Day 4 : First Meetings - John Rosemond & Richard Daly

2009-11-19T14:48:00.006+08:00

Finally, after close to 3 months of "skyping" with Richard Daly, we met for face-to-face for the first time over breakfast at the Fairfield Inn where we're staying. There were so much story-telling and conversation that our breakfast lasted 3 hours! Then it was time to meet up with the guru himself, John Rosemond for lunch. Guess who was the extra, unexpected guest in the car - Macy - the adorable dog! One thing which struck us was John's oft-repeated phrase - "How can I help you?" Now, that is a great start to a working relationship where we begin to flesh out the details of what it takes to bring leadership back to the family. We certainly look forward to the formal parent coach training which will start tomorrow.

Day 3 : Sleepy in the Inn.....

2009-11-19T14:41:00.005+08:00

We made a "sleepy" mistake - after spending the first half of the day walking through the Westfield Shopping Center, we came back to the hotel - looking forward to a leisurely afternoon in conversation but a sudden "ton of bricks" hit us on the head and we ended up taking a 4-hour nap! Oh boy - did that upset our body clock! Good thing we had extra instant noodles with us to see us through dinner. Hopefully Day-4 will be better!

Day 2 : Arrival in Gastonia, North Carolina

2009-11-17T12:22:00.004+08:00

After 30+ hours of travelling, waiting, conversing, eating, sleeping, dreaming, visioning and reading (Eliza "forced" me to bring along one of her favorite books - The Mysterious Benedict Society - to read. Found myself caught up in the plot!) ... we're finally here in Gastonia, North Carolina. Right now (11.38pm here) cannot sleep-lah.... hopefully, can get over the lag by tomorrow (which is free and easy) before the meeting with John Rosemond starts on Nov 18. Had makan at the Texas Roadhouse which serves great half-slabs! This place has free "kacang" and you can just simply throw them all over the floor - similar to the Roadhouse Grill back in KL.

On a more meditative note, I spend the majority of my time on the plane going through this excellent resource called "Life Purpose Planning" - a wonderful workbook for crystallizing God's purpose in one's life. Without addressing the issue of purpose, the activity of goal-setting is meaningless and lack the conviction for complete follow-through. Perhaps this two weeks away will provide that time for Wai Bing and myself to build a stronger sense of purpose for the future.

Day 1 : En Route from KL to US

2009-11-16T03:02:00.010+08:00

Well, the day is finally here for us to embark on an exciting phase ahead as we take the next step towards "formalizing" our parenting training courses. Instead of going through the toil of developing our own materials, we are grateful to be invited by John Rosemond for his Leadership Parenting Coach certification program in North Carolina from Nov 19-21. Who is John Rosemond? So, here we are - grabbing big bowls of noodles at KLIA before taking the 9.45pm flight (Nov 15) to Singapore - on transit to North Carolina. Once, we touched down at Changi Singapore, we were "gloriously" greeted by real sunflowers planted at regular intervals along the travelling escalator. Interestingly, for Wai Bing's birthday this month, she received sunflowers as well... not to mention that sunflowers were our "official" flower for our wedding photo shots 13 years ago! Isn't this amazing?

As I'm typing this, Wai Bing is fast asleep, while I am sipping my latte (it is now 3.25am) - waiting for our connecting flight via Narita, Japan on United Airlines. These past 2 weeks have been really hectic for the two of us - differing schedules and activities - we are looking forward to these 2 weeks ahead to reconnect and seek the Lord afresh for directions in the new year ahead and beyond. One thing is for certain : we believe the Lord has called us to the marketplace and ministry of transforming the society through equipping the family.

First Parenting Workshop in Singapore

2009-10-09T21:18:00.004+08:00

We had our first parenting "workshop" in Singapore about on August 30. It was a humble beginning - a casual get together at my brother-in-law's home. We had such an active discussion on topics such as co-curricular activities, exercising authoritative leadership, the need to put our marriage first and steps to build character. For those of us with kids who are 12 years old and below, this is the season of leadership - if we do not take ownership of our kids during this period and end up "outsourcing" them to other so called child-development activities, do not be surprised if you find yourself living with teenagers who are physically with you but the heart is a thousand miles away. For more articles and podcast interviews, click here for my parenting-specific blog.

The Process of a Conclusion

2009-08-26T20:40:00.005+08:00

As the spiritual head at home, I have a tendency to communicate conclusions. What do I mean? Conclusive Communications is a method of delivering the result of my thinking to my children without helping them to go through the hard work of processing the necessary "logic research" that will make truth personal. That to me is the greatest danger of being a teacher - teaching without reaching.

A group of 8 families gathered together in Kampar from Aug 7-9 a few weeks ago to process through what it means for us parents to play the role of thought leadership at home i.e. the urgent (and important) need for us to develop a Biblical Worldview starting from the very first verse of the Bible. While the kids had to their own fun time (under the capable leadership of Valerie Tan), the parents went through the Answers Academy curriculum where our "eyes" were open to the subtleness of worldly philosophies in education. How we need to reclaim back the glory which belongs to our Creator God!

What was the conclusion of this "Answers Retreat"? We as parents need to :

Reinforce the Authority of the Bible as the starting point of all our teaching.
Develop the Conviction of our children so that their faith in God becomes a personal one.
Build the right Thinking skills so that our children is able to discern error and communicate truth.

The Joy of Serving as a Family!

2009-07-31T01:24:00.007+08:00

We spend a week in Sabah last week as part of a team from Alpha Malaysia organizing a 3-day Marriage Course Retreat for a group of pastors and their spouses. My wife and I love serving in The Marriage Course ministry as it not only keeps us together as a couple but also offers opportunity for us to travel and serve together as a family as well.

We are really proud of our two girls who sat attentively on their own - doing their own homeschooling work - while my wife and I serve the pastors during this retreat. In fact, the way I see it, this Marriage Course retreat is part of the "life classroom" for my daughters! By being passive observers of this ministry, Eliza and Eunice are receiving positive perception of the joys of being married plus observing for themselves in real life that great marriages are possible! This at the end of the day is what real education is all about, isn't it? Homeschooling gives us a wonderful platform to include "relational" elements which prepares them not only for intellectual pursuits but effective living as well.

The Faith of a Little Child

2009-07-01T17:15:00.005+08:00

My six year old daughter, Eunice wrote me a series of "Dollar/Ringgit" notes since yesterday. One of the advantages of working from home is the opportunity to catch these moments of child-like truth that creates such a "warm-spot" in my heart! My training business has been somewhat affected by the current economic conditions and this fact is not unnoticed by those at home. Little did I know that my six year old cared enough to start printing money for her daddy so that - in her words - "Daddy will now have more money for the family."

You know something? Having this stack of hand-written "monetary notes" gives me a deep sense of richness that money cannot buy. It is true that life is a challenge and a struggle but that which is a trial should activate a certain child-likeness towards my Heavenly Father who is in control. "...for your Heavenly Father knows" (Matthew 6:32). Thank you God for your handwritten assurance through these notes which I believe is as solid as gold when transacted with eyes of faith. I serve a God who knows!

Effective Parenting : Discipline is about the 2 Cs

2009-06-29T17:02:00.004+08:00

Discipline is not just about consequences. It has to do more with communication and consistency.

Click on the link below for a radio interview with Shazmin of BFM on this topic :

http://www.bfm.my/1150.html

Happy listening!

Answers Academy Session 2

2009-06-17T09:38:00.004+08:00

It's wonderful to have families coming together to re-affirm our commitment to the Bible as the authoritative source for all areas of life and to reflect upon the dangers of being led astray by worldly, humanistic philosophies. Since most of our children are aged 12 and below, we see this as critical window for building strong foundations in the next generation - but it begins with the parents first. At the end of our session together, we walked away with the conviction that if we as Bible-believing parents do not provide ANSWERS which are based on Scripture as our starting point, then our children will be blown to-and-fro by any and every fancy worldview that comes along. I am thankful for this group of parents who are committed to teaching a Biblical Worldview to the next generation!

The Basic Principle of DESIGN

2009-06-09T12:05:00.003+08:00

Feelings of inferiority has its roots when we cannot accept the "un-changeables" in us. One primary "un-changeable" is physical features. My heart cringes when I hear children calling each other names which belittle and demean another person's physical features - making fun of a person's nose, complexion, eyes etc.

Do not be surprised if you find your child paying too much attention on clothes and appearance - it may point to a feeling of bitterness that he or she is not grateful for the way that she looks. My job as a parent then is to re-assure my child and re-affirm to self-worth both to God and also to me. This is a teachable moment to emphasize that outward beauty is not related to inward happiness.

So much of what we see around us - the beauty pageants and the best-looking contests - sends a deceptive signal to our kids that if left unchecked will create a constant comparing attitude and distract them from what's really important. I am responsible to create an environment at home where my children are accepted and taught that they should be grateful for the way that God made them. God loves to write last chapters and it my role as a parent to disciple my children not to give up just after reading the "first chapter".

Our Origins Define Our Outlook

2009-05-30T00:14:00.005+08:00

Spend time at a drug rehab center this morning addressing the topic on the origins of man. It was encouraging to hear the active questions being asked - which highlighted to me that the "rehabilitation process" covers more than just the physical aspect. Those who were there also had a high degree of intellectual curiosity to the validity of a Biblical woldview. They wanted to know who and where they came from - it is so satisfying to discover that the Bible has a great deal to say about our origins.

So, there is not only the renewal of the physical body that is part of the rehabilitation process, there is also a deeper need to "rehabilitate" the mind as well - with a Biblical view of creation.

Answers Academy Session 1

2009-05-25T19:45:00.003+08:00

My heart is thrilled to see a group of parents who are interested in transferring truth to the next generation! We officially started our first ANSWERS group meeting yesterday using the Answers Academy DVD-based curriculum. We can outsource the training of skills but when it comes to values and matters of faith - the best persons to do the job are the parents (especially the dads!).

What was Chapter One covered yesterday? We touched on the difference between a naturalistic and a biblical worldview of life. Do we see God actively involved in the history of the world or have we reduced Him to just an afterthought? Instead of starting from the "truth" of man's opinion, we as parents need to train ourselves to base every area of our thinking based on Scripture. Then, we will have something worthwhile to pass on to the next generation.

The Ark is Completed (But the Memories Continue)

2009-05-14T00:06:00.003+08:00

I never did enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles .. until I shared the enthusiasm of my daughters. Now that both of the Noah's Ark puzzle are completed (to my amazement and satisfaction), I now finally understand that it was not so much the puzzle itself - rather, it was the interaction, challenge and the fellowship that took place which is of primary importance. The process of play is more important than the product of play.

Furthermore, the accurate dimensions of the Ark provided a series of lively discussion about the impact of the Global Flood, how even dinosaurs could have even fit into the Ark! Doing these puzzles gave the added advantage of being a "value-transfer" process as well.

Here's the conclusion when it comes to choosing the type of play to engage with kids - choose activities which has the following criteria :

Creates opportunity for directed conversation.
Promotes the exchange of ideas and solutions.
Fun! - That's what memories are made of!

Critical Decisions are Always Exclusive

2009-04-28T23:36:00.005+08:00

We had a wonderful dinner tonight with Llewyn and Chris - a couple that has faithfully served together with us in The Marriage Course. The question from Llewyn - "Why did Jesus have to die?" started a train of discussion from Genesis to the Gospel on the origin of sin, sacrifice and ultimately how all this climax at the Cross. The unique thing about the Christian faith is how God works through real history and real people and it is all documented in the Bible! We worship a God that is firmly rooted in history right from Adam to Jesus and his wonderful plan of salvation revealed from Genesis to Revelation.

Conclusion : Critical decisions in life (eg. marriage) is always exclusive. Without exclusivity, a relationship cannot go on to the next level. Similarly, the decision to follow Jesus Christ MUST be an exclusive decision. We rejoice that was the decision which Llewyn made. Welcome home, Llewyn. The angels in heaven rejoice!

First "Genesis Relevance" Talk

2009-04-27T23:50:00.004+08:00

On Sunday (26 Apr), we had six families gathered in our home for the inaugural "Genesis Relevance" presentation. The common "thread" that held us all together was the fact that we are all parents deeply concerned about the faith foundations of our children. Here are two opening thoughts in the sharing :

Culture is strongly defined by origins. Unless one knows clearly where he comes from, he cannot know for sure where he is going. Genesis 1-11 holds the key for building the right sense of identity.
Effective parenting is about putting our marriage first. Unless both husband and wife and united in one flesh and spirit, teaching our children from the same starting point of Scripture - our kids will be distracted by so many other competing forces of peer pressure and humanistic philosophies. Foundation building is a team effort.

At the end of our time together, there was a strong resonance that the building of a Biblical Worldview must start with us as parents first. It is only when we are personally excited about the relevance of Scripture to all areas of life then we have something worthwhile to pass to the next generation. As a next step, the majority of the families agreed to go through the Answers Academy package as our small step forward in reclaiming a giant plot in the future. We thank God for this core team of families that have provided my wife and I with the momentum to carry on the passion ignited from last month's training at Answers in Genesis.

The Attraction of a Bumper Sticker!

2009-04-23T09:31:00.006+08:00

I was in McDonald's yesterday evening with my two daughters when suddenly an American gentleman walked up to me and said, "Does the Toyota Innova out there belong to you?" Curiously, I said "Yes" - expecting him to point out that I did not switch the lights off or something to that effect. But his answer came as a total surprise ....

"Did you actually visit the CREATION MUSEUM?" was the response from this gentleman. Here's how he was able to link the car to me :

He noticed the Creation Museum bumper sticker on my car. That started him thinking.
When he sat next to my table at McDonald's, he thought - "Hmm, what's a dad doing here with his two kids on a school day? This must be a homeschooling family."
Homeschooling -> Christian -> Creation. Isn't that totally logical?!

We had such a wonderful time of fellowship! The couple was Mike and Diane Constantine - an American couple from Virginia who now makes Malaysia their second home - ministering in the area of family and church leadership. See : http://www.intermin.org

Isn't it wonderful how a seemingly innocent bumper sticker can cause like-minded folks to bump into each other?

p/s : Curious about the Creation Museum? Go to http://creationmuseum.org

Answers in Genesis

2009-04-14T23:09:00.004+08:00

20 March 2009 - This is a pivotal date for my wife and I as we stepped onto Korean Air headed for Cincinnati Airport for a week's worth of training with a Creation Apologetics Ministry - ANSWERS IN GENESIS. Look it up - http://www.answersingenesis.org

Besides spending our 13th Wedding Anniversary (23 March) enjoying real American Ice-Cream (thanks to Dr.Crandall and his team), this training has expanded our view on the critical importance of developing a Biblical Worldview in all areas - especially in domains where the opinion of man has superseded the authority of God's Word. We are now so excited about home schooling our two daughters in subjects of science and history from the God's perspective!

Also, we look forward to working with Christian families who desire to provide real answers to the next generation who is growing up in an ever increasing skeptical, humanistic and anti-God world.

We thank God for the generosity of Mr.Ken Ham, Dr.Crandall and the ANSWERS IN GENESIS team for organizing this training. The friendship with fellow believers from Australia, India, Russia, Moldova, Egypt, Scotland, Hungary and Portugal really made this a fantastic experience for my wife and I.

Take Time to be a Dad!

2009-03-16T11:00:00.002+08:00

Leadership is about Potential (Not Mine!)

2009-03-02T13:46:00.004+08:00

Up till yesterday evening, I had a defective model about what leadership at home should look like. Unknowingly, I have been behaving as if all my family members (especially my wife) is there to make me look good. My agenda and priorities must be the foundation of what makes this family tick - or at least, so I thought.

A honest heart-to-heart dinner conversation with my wife last evening revealed just how defective my leadership perspective has been!

Here's the real deal on leadership : it's not about me! Rather, it is about me serving the needs of those under my care and it developing them to rise up to their God-given potential. The irony is this : when I strive to make those under my care look good - then inevitably, I will also look good! But the starting point is always them, not me. Servanthood is about the greater serving the lesser - something so foreign in a culture where subordinate is expected to serve the superior. Yet, how am I going to see "fruits" in my family if the only type of investment is around I, me and myself? I must start to view myself from today onwards more as a GARDENER rather than a consumer, an INVESTER rather a spectator.

Yes, I am still the leader at home and my leadership is defined by the condition of those who are following me. What good is a leader when the needs of the followers are left in want?

Conviction or Competence : What am I Building?

2009-02-23T18:43:00.003+08:00

This is what we should be discipling our children to be - Being able to make a stand in a world of compromise. In this world where convenience takes precedence over convictions, I as a parent need to be ever so alert as to what is shaping my children's worldview so that they are able to stand firm. A child with "no opinion" will end up being a follower of someone who does.

"All it that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke.

Of Breakfast and Books

2009-02-16T09:36:00.004+08:00

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Beyond the stomach, the spirit is also an important component to be fed at the start of the day. This morning, we had a very lively discussion (including role-play as well!) centering on the morning devotional reading from Eliza. We walked away from the breakfast table - not only just feeling fed, but also feeling that we had a worthwhile conversation.

Nowadays, most of our reading is in private - as a family, I find that we build bridges of communication and "heart-bonding" when we share with one another what we are reading. Here's the principle : what we read, we think about - it is when we have the opportunity to share with another person what's on our minds that we are able to discern between truth and error, reality and fantasy. My two daughters are avid readers, it is my role to help them go beyond that and facilitate their thinking process so that what is read goes through the filter of values, beliefs and convictions before it is deposited into the worldview of their hearts.

Beware of Imitation!

2009-02-09T12:48:00.003+08:00

Someone once said that "imitation is the best form of compliment". This morning over breakfast, we were talking about what happens when we really admire someone? The answer : We imitate those we admire. That's why young people often dress up to reflect the looks of those they admire or they talk with a certain slang which is associated with certain characters.

The thought of the day is this : When someone looks at my two daughters, who do they see? Do I have enough in me that is worth imitating?

In my training, someone was remarked - "As a manager, I expect my staff to do what I say but don't do what I do." Yet, it is my doing that influences my daughter's being. What I do consistently becomes a "living message" that gets written in their hearts.

Effective parenting is more than just grand intentions - it is consistent actions. A regular 10 minute story-reading time everyday is so much better than a once a year holiday trip. Think about it. Rome is not built in a day - so is your child.

Ben-10 is Canned!

2009-02-03T10:26:00.003+08:00

The word "amusement" comes from the root word "muse" i.e. to think, to reflect. By putting the "a" as a prefix, "amuse" then becomes the opposite i.e. without thinking and reflection. As the "values-keeper" of my family, I have the responsibility to safeguard what goes into the soul of my home.

The media (music and TV) is highly potent because it has a way of bypassing our will and emotions and heading straight into the realm of imagination. What is imagined often enough will then finds its expression (in some form or other) through attitudes and behavior. This morning, together with my wife and daughters, we threw away a Ben-10 DVD. Why did we do that (especially to such a hot and popular figure)?

It glorifies evolution. We believe in God who created us just as we are (designed for a specific purpose). Ben-10 advocates we need to evolve into other alien forms to find fulfillment.
It glorifies violence.
It glorifies witchcraft. The cousin Gwen invokes spells from a certain book in order to display her powers. Evil must be labeled for what it is.

Just because something is "cool", "fun" and "cute" does not warrant blind acceptance. We spend about 1.5 hours this morning going through the principles of what is acceptable and helpful when it comes to toys and entertainment. I find it to so rewarding when my two daughters, from their own free will, decided that Ben-10 has to go.

Of course, not all media stuff is bad. Go to http://www.pluggedinonline.com/ for a helpful resource on what's hot and what's not and how we as responsible parents should filter the media around us so that values contrary to us are not blindly absorbed by our kids. MTV proudly says, "We own this generation!". Am I as a father going to let them steal my kids from right under my nose, right in my own living room? No way!

The Fastest Way to a Woman's Heart

2009-02-02T10:53:00.004+08:00

I had a wake-up call last night. Over dinner, I could not be in "touch" with my wife - in other words, my conversation with her made philosophical sense but it did reach her heart. I was rattling off a lot of sound advice trying to get across but there was no "bridge" connecting the both of us. It is at moments like this that I ask myself the age-old question - "Why is it so hard to understand women?!"

The condition of my wife's heart came about because in the past few days, I failed to connect with her through the act of active questioning & listening. The secret to a woman's heart is quite simple but not easy. Our main obstacle as men is that we take pride in dishing out solutions and answers too quickly because (from our perspective) it makes us look good! In the process, we destroy the "heart connection" with our wives through the following mistakes :

The Mistake of Assumption : Giving answers without active questioning leads to a concussion (not a conclusion).
The Mistake of Aggravation : Giving opinions without active listening will only create more frustration. Often, it is her emotions which needs acknowledgment. How will I ever appreciate the emotions without drawing it out first by asking right questions?

Chris Hogan has a set of 10 questions for a courageous conversation. Keeping them in view reminds me that the fastest way to my wife's heart is not in giving answers but in active questioning and listening. What do you think?

What is your most pressing issue?
What I hear you saying is ... in addition to this, is there anything else?
How is this affecting you? Others?
What will the future be like if nothing changes?
What do you see as my responsibility for this issue?
What do you see as your responsibility for this issue?
What does the preferable future look like to you?
What is the most powerful thing we can agree to ask God to do?
Based on the above, what is the one thing we cannot fail to do?
What practical steps do we need to take to make this happen?

So, for a woman, the important think is to connect with your ears and then the way to the heart is open wide!

Dad, I am Watching ...

2009-01-31T09:27:00.001+08:00

"Dad, are you listening?"

Writing Magic, Wonderful Moment

2009-01-30T22:46:00.005+08:00

Friday afternoons are my "writing moments" with my eldest daughter, Eliza. There is a special connection which takes place during this time where we have fun expressing our thoughts, imagination and creativity in writing. You see, both of us love to write - when two persons share an interest, it is more than just a hobby - it has the potential of becoming something magical. For those who have an interest in exploring and expanding your writing flair (and have a fun time with your kids), consider getting Gail Carson Levine's "WRITING MAGIC". It is not a textbook on the science of writing. Rather, it is a very casual and "flowing" book that encourages exploration and experimentation.

The topic we did today was a fun one (something to do with friendship, marriage and love) - interestingly, Eliza was just so caught up with it and she just could not keep her pen down the entire evening. This "magic" is likely to persist for the days to come. Now, isn't this better than watching MTV?

To Eliza, she could be writing a fun story, for me, it is a magical memory in the making and moments such as this I cherish dearly.

Keep Your Nights in Sight

2009-01-27T09:37:00.004+08:00

Had such a "nourishing" breakfast conversation with my brother-in-law this morning. One comment he made seemed just so practical - "If any of my friends want to catch up, I offer my lunch hour. The evenings are for the family." I find this boundary to be beneficial for the following reasons :

The lunch hour places a natural time restraint because people need to get back to work after that. This forces the conversation to be more intentional and purposeful. If done in the evening, there is a tendency to drift. "The night is still young" is that common excuse.
The temptation to drink (and over do it) is more prevalent during the evening hours. Furthermore, a certain type of "atmosphere" comes into play during the darker moments. So, the prayer of "lead us not into temptation" finds its preventive application here.
The need for closure. One of the better ways to "unwind" is to reflect on the happenings and events of the day with your loved ones. Evening conversations build those connective moments where values are clarified and conclusions are developed. Think about a gathering around the fireplace (figuratively for most of us!) and sharing stories - this should cement the point!

Yes - we guys go to work but don't bring work-to-go when we reach home. The evenings provide that window of endowment where we are given opportunities to deposit precious seeds in the lives of our wives and children. Ask yourself - "How can I expect to harvest if I do not sow?"

Crafting Family Time

2009-01-26T09:55:00.003+08:00

Took time off yesterday morning for an "art attack" with the family. We had so much fun creating "character rocks" that I may consider making this a weekly event! One thing I learn from my wife is this : If it's important enough, it must be important enough to be scheduled in.

It is funny how we often complain that the kids grow up too fast and yet, it might be because we are too slow to schedule in the time for them! The extent of my commitment to my family can easily be revealed when one reads my appointment diary for the week. Making time is more than just doing something together - fundamentally, it is about creating memories and traditions that will stick - from one generation to the next. And this is a role that I as a father cannot afford to neglect.

The Greatest Blessing is Behavioral

2009-01-23T08:00:00.001+08:00

When someone says - "You have a blessed family!" - what comes to your mind? A big house? A fantastic balance between career and kids? There is a certain kind of blessing which is far more satisfying than the accumulation of possessions and far more lasting than material goods.

It is the blessing of transformed behavior.

I have to constantly remind myself that what constitutes real success in my family is not good grades and a great business but the extent to which our individual behavior positively impacts those around us. And it begins with me. What signals am I sending as the leader of my household? What character qualities do I consistently demonstrate at home?

I can outsource the teaching of skills for my children to others but when it comes to teaching values and matters of the heart, I am the best person to do it. I can buy plenty of gifts for my wife but when it comes to reaching her heart, it is my consistent, thoughtful behavior that will make a difference.

They say that charity begins at home - I will add on to that - character training also begins at home and I am responsible to make it happen.

Converse Deep this Chinese New Year

2009-01-22T17:02:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year Holidays is just around the corner! Trouble is - there are so many things to do that when it is all over, we end up gaining a few pounds and if not careful, a sore throat as well - evidence that to eat & be merry may the order of the day. It's true that we sent plenty of New Year Greetings but do we have New Year Conversations?

For this coming New Year Holidays, I purpose to be more intentional in my conversations. Contact with friends and family abounds but I must be deliberate about making a connection rather than just eat peanuts and watch TV. How can this connection be done?

There are 3 questions which I will keep before me when conversing with others this New Year :

What are your goals in life?
What hinders you from achieving those goals?
Do you have any word of advice for me?

May the above questions open up a wealth of meaningful conversations for you this New Year. Remember, right questions asked sincerely build bridges of relationships.